Not Alone
by thecosmicwind
Summary: The events after Olivia identified her brother's body in the morgue (S21E06 'Murdered at a Bad Address'). Her best friend is there for her, and he reminds her that despite having no blood family, she is never alone.


**Hey guys.**

**I'm here with another one-shot. This one is based from the most recent episode, following Simon's death. Olivia says that Simon was her only family, but her best friend is still around, and here to remind her that despite such, she is not alone.**

**Enjoy xoxo**

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**Not Alone**

Numb. That was the only word that could be used to describe how Captain Olivia Benson felt as she stood in the morgue, her eyes glued to the lifeless figure on the autopsy table of her the chief medical examiner for the city, Melinda Warner. The seasoned police officer had received a call from her longtime friend just over half an hour earlier, asking her to come identify a body in the morgue that was believed to belong to her half-brother, Simon. She had almost raced down to the morgue and when she entered the room, only to be greeted by a saddened Melinda, she stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes were glued to the lifeless figure.

Melinda expressed her condolences, then went onto explain that the cause of death was an overdose of heroin laced with fentanyl. Olivia indicated that Simon told her that he had been sober for a while, to which Melinda confirmed that he had, but had just gotten his hands on the wrong batch. Olivia asked whether it was a suicide, only for Melinda to explain that the dosage wasn't large enough for such, and that it had simply been an accident. Olivia nodded, glancing at the body again before looking back at her long-time friend.

"Thank you."

Melinda nodded. She swallowed the lump that had gathered in her throat; this was hard for her too, considering she was the one who had run Olivia's DNA all those years ago and had found Simon for her.

"You two were close?" she wondered. Olivia shook her head;

"No…no we weren't…"

She glanced at that lifeless body again, her vision blurring slightly with tears as she looked back at Melinda;

"But…but he was my only family."

Melinda took a shaky breath, then gave her a sympathetic look before pulling her in for a quick hug. Olivia squeezed her back before letting go, whispering a 'thank you' yet again. Melinda nodded before walking towards her office to gather any items belonging to Simon that Olivia could take. This gave Olivia a moment alone with the lifeless body of Simon, and she swallowed hard as she looked back at him.

She had no idea that her support system – her long-time best friend, Elliot Stabler - was in the hallway, watching her. He had heard her as she was talking to Melinda, and his heart broke for her. She had called him on the way to the morgue and he immediately dropped what he was doing at work before racing down to where she was.

His heart broke when she uttered those words; _'He was my only family'._

They had clashed over Simon when she had first found out about him and had clashed about him again a few years earlier when she decided to help him. Simon always seemed to bring nothing but trouble to Olivia, but Olivia always defended him as despite it all, Simon was her brother, her only blood relative, and she did love him. He had seen her get upset and beat herself up over Simon, had told her time and time again that there was no way she could change Simon and that she couldn't sacrifice herself and everything she worked for to help someone that didn't want to be helped. Even a few days ago, when she cancelled their standing lunch date for a lunch with Simon – whom had been so eager to meet Noah – he asked her if she was sure that it was a good idea to which she replied that it was.

He still remembered the text he got towards the evening; _'It had not been a good idea, sorry for cancelling our plans for a fluke'._

Yet now, he never wanted things with Simon to end like this.

He took a breath, then slowly walked into the room where she was. He watched as she reached a hand out towards her brother, as if she were trying to reach for the last piece of her blood line that she could find. He stepped closer and placed a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up. Brown eyes poured into blues; he gave her a sad smile, they both nodded at the same time, then he pulled her into his arms, wrapping both strong arms around her as he whispered into her hair;

"Let it out, Liv."

And she did. She burst into tears, clinging to the fabric of his suit jacket as she cried into his chest. Her shoulders shook, her sobs were muffled by his chest as he held her. He looked up to see Melinda watching them with a sad look on her face; he mouthed a simple _'thank you'_ and gave her a sad look as well. She gave a slight nod of the head, before turning away to give them a moment.

She managed to calm down some after some moments; he went to collect Simon's possessions from Melinda to give her another minute with her brother's body. After collecting the possessions, he went and offered to walk her out of the morgue, to which she nodded. He placed a hand on her lower back as they walked out together, and once outside, they both simultaneously took a deep breath.

"Thanks for coming down here, Elliot," she wiped her eyes and swallowed hard; "I'm sorry I pulled you away from work."

"Hey, you know the drill, it's been like this since we first met – anything you need, anytime you need, you just call and I'm there," Elliot reached up and wiped a tear away with his thumb; "You okay to drive home or do you need a lift?"

"Do you mind?" she tilted her head; her head was too foggy and even she didn't feel safe driving herself home right now, not with this state of mind; "I…I really need to go back to work but I just…I just can't function."

"Tell you what, you take the squad car back to the precinct and I'll follow you, then give you a lift home?" he offered. She nodded; that was the best idea, she needed to go home.

Half an hour later, she had just emerged from the sixteenth precinct again, now with all her belongings to go home. Elliot was waiting outside in his own SUV and had jumped out to open the passenger door for her. She gave him a small smile to say 'thank you' as she slipped into the passenger seat; he closed the door before rushing around to the driver's side. After they were both settled in, he began the drive towards her apartment complex.

They rode in silence; she didn't have a whole lot to say as she feared that her voice would crack and she'd break down again, and he was trying to give her a little space for a minute. He knew how the mind of his best friend operated, knew that she needed to sort things out in her own head before talking. Still, he couldn't get it out of his head those words from her earlier; _He was my only family._

Her only blood family of course, but certainly not her _only _family in general. He needed her to know that.

They pulled up at her apartment complex after a short commute, and he walked her up to her apartment and inside as well. He went to the kitchen area to get her some water and an aspirin for a headache that he knew was settling in for her, while she kicked her boots off before curling up on the sofa while holding a pillow to her.

"Hey, do you want me to get Noah for you and take him with me for a bit? I've got Eli this week, so me, him, and Rich were going for burgers tonight. Noah is welcome to come with us, of course." he suggested, capturing her attention.

She checked her watch; "There's still an hour until he gets out, but could you?"

"You got it." he nodded and sat down beside her; she thanked him for the water and aspirin before gulping them down. There was silence for a bit; he could almost see the wheels turning in her head as if she were trying to process something, and he wanted her to talk about it.

"Liv, what is it?"

Silence. He tried again; "Olivia, tell me – what's going on in your head?"

There was a pause and a deep breath, then she spoke; "You remember the other day when I told you that he stood us up, and that it had been a bad idea to even agree to the lunch?"

He nodded, so she continued.

"I left him a voicemail, telling him not to ever call me…" her voice cracked, and tears began to slip down her cheeks; "El…what if…what if my message was the last thing he heard?"

"Oh Liv, no…" Elliot shuffled closer, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her against him for a hug yet again as she began to cry on his shoulder; "Shh…you can't think like that and you can't blame yourself."

"The last thing I said to him was out of anger, I should have never said that…" she choked out; "If I had known-"

"There was no way you could have known that this would happen," he interrupted, before leaning up slightly and holding her hands; "Hey, look at me."

She looked up, looking into those blue eyes through a haze of tears.

"You cannot blame yourself for what happened, for the choices that someone makes; this is not your fault…" he reached up and wiped some of her tears; "There is absolutely nothing I can say to make this better, I know that, but what I can tell you is that I'm sorry it did happen, and I can tell you that I'm sure he doesn't blame you, because it's not your fault."

She nodded some more, though more tears spilled down her cheeks. He wiped those tears away too, before speaking yet again;

"You have got to stop carrying around this misplaced sense of guilt you feel for everything that happens, and before you even try to play dumb and ask what I mean, please remember that we've been best friends for over twenty years so I know you way too well, and I know your way of thinking…" the small joke made her smile a little, and that gave him a little hope that he was getting through to her; "This was not your fault, just like your mother's death all those years ago wasn't your fault either, nor was your father's suicide."

Her eyes went wide, and he gave her a look; "Yeah, I know you've had this guilt about all of that, and it's not good, because it's not your fault."

She took a breath. She couldn't even say anything because she knew Elliot was right; she always carried around some misplaced guilt for everything that went wrong – her mother's death, her father's suicide, and now this. But she did need to remember that none of what ever happened was her fault. All she ever tried to do was do the right thing, and she could never be responsible for the choice someone else made; it wasn't on her.

She leaned into him for a hug, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, before kissing the side of her head and whispering; "Remember, none of this is your fault."

She nodded, sniffling again before pecking his cheek; "Thank you; I needed that."

"Yeah well I'm always around if you need some sense knocked into your big head," he teased her, playfully knocking on her forehead before continuing; "And while we're at it – what did I tell you years ago when you were going on and on about having no family?"

She raised an eyebrow in confusion, so he rolled his eyes and smirked as he continued; "I told you that as long as I live, whether we're partners anymore or not, that you'll always be family to me. That still rings true; I'm sorry that your only blood family has passed away, I really am, but no matter what, you have family – in the squad, and especially in me and Noah."

"El." She sighed, giving him a small smile.

"I mean, me and Noah are the best people in your life anyway so obviously we're your favorite piece of family." He winked. He then smiled when she let out a small laugh while she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, for just being here…" she then yawned, closing her eyes; "And now, you can be a dear and find me a blanket because after this fucking day, I need a nap." She moved over and laid down with her head on the pillow, and he chuckled and stood up.

"Yes ma'am, Captain." He playfully gave her a salute before walking off down the hall to find her a blanket. She grabbed a pillow and held it close to her, and as the events of the day and emotional exhaustion slowly took over, she soon drifted off to sleep.

Elliot returned some moments later with a blanket. His heart fluttered when he saw that she had fallen asleep, so he draped the blanket over her. He knew the next few days – maybe weeks – would be rough, but he had no intention of allowing her to go through this alone. He leaned in and kissed her forehead, before fishing his keys from his pocket as it was growing close to the time to get Noah from school. He left her a note explaining that he was going to pick up Noah and that he'd take him for dinner, before he then headed towards the door.

As he made his way to the door, he noticed a photo on her shelf. He smiled to himself as he looked closer; it was a photo taken just a few weeks earlier when he, Olivia, Noah, and Eli had gone to a baseball game together. They always talked about how much they loved the fact that their sons were the best of friends, just like they were.

It would always be like that; he would always have her back.

She was always family to him, and she would never be alone.

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**_Well...I hope this was enjoyable for you all. Leave some feedback if you like. Thank you guys for always supporting my writing. Until next time xoxo_**


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